There are plenty of articles on the internet telling men how to make a woman come in five minutes, 10, or 15. But what if a woman wants to make herself come faster?
First, remember that “faster” is relative. Taking twenty minutes to orgasm will be “fast” for some people and “slow” for others. And a faster orgasm does not necessarily mean better sex.
But hey, sometimes you just want to come sooner rather than later. Whether you want to get more out of a quickie with a partner, sneak in a quick masturbation session before your favourite TV show begins, or simply beat a personal record, there are several tricks you can try to speed up your orgasm. Here are some of them.
Spend time on foreplay
If your goal is to come as quickly as possible, spending valuable time on foreplay might seem counterintuitive. Not so! Some studies indicate that people are more likely to orgasm during sex if they’ve been turned on via foreplay first. For example, one 2018 study found that women whose last sexual encounter included “deep kissing” were more likely to have orgasmed. Another study on straight couples found that for those who spent one to 10 minutes on foreplay, 40% of the women orgasmed, but for those who spent more than 20 minutes on foreplay, 60% of the women orgasmed.
Focus on the clit
As you have probably heard, for people with vulvas, orgasms are often all about the clit. One study found that 80% of cis women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. If you (or your partner) haven’t been focusing on your clit, it’s time to change that. Try different kinds of touch — gentle, harder, with your fingers, with a vibrator — and different locations. For example, some people prefer being touched near their clitoris rather than directly on it.
Have oral sex
If you have a partner, are they going down on you regularly? One 2016 study found that the more frequently a woman’s partner gave her oral sex, the more often she orgasmed. Not every woman orgasmed every time she had oral, but it was common enough that the study authors concluded, “One way in which partners can promote female orgasms is by providing women with oral sex.”
Add lube
Lube can make sex feel even better: a 2009 study found that over 70% of women said that using lube made sex feel “very pleasurable and more comfortable.” If you’re not using lube already, give it a try — either during masturbation or partnered sex (or even better, both).
Use a vibrator
One 2009 study found that for women, vibrator use was “significantly related” to different aspects of “positive sexual function,” including increased desire, arousal, and orgasm.
Different people like different types of vibrators — some swear by wand-style vibrators like the Magic Wand, while others prefer rabbit-style vibrators or vibrators designed to mimic oral sex. If the first sex toy you try doesn’t work for you, a different style might.
Try a new position
Have you tried orgasming in different positions? A 2006 study found that women who had sex with men were more likely to orgasm in “active” positions, such as cowgirl, or when they and their partner tried multiple positions in one sex session. If the position you begin with isn’t making you come, try something new.
Get creative
Indulging in a fantasy — or making it a reality — might make it easier to orgasm. One 2018 study found that women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to receive oral sex from their partners, spend a longer time having sex, be happier with their relationships, and ask for what they want in bed — which all makes sense. But the study also found that women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to sext their partners, wear lingerie, try new sexual positions and anal stimulation, act out fantasies, and use dirty talk. So if there’s a fantasy or kink that appeals to you, go ahead and try it — it might make you come faster than you expect.
Practice, practice, practice
For many people with vulvas, learning to orgasm is a process — and it gets easier (and quicker) with practice. Try masturbating in different positions, with different kinds sex toys, and while having different kinds of fantasies. If you’re having partnered sex, try out a variety of sex acts and positions.
And remember: whether it takes you five minutes or three hours to orgasm — or even if don’t orgasm at all — the most important thing is that you and your partner are enjoying yourselves.
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