It’s not the most fun subject to gab about, but in both our romantic and platonic relationships, money matters. How much you make, how transparent you are about your finances and whether you’re on the same page with spending and splitting etiquette are all important. After all, it’s estimated that about 70% of couples fight more frequently about money than sex, household chores, kids or even who’s cooking dinner. And with money generally being a sensitive subject, unresolved differences or friction can easily lead to an irreparable breakdown.
To demystify the matter, we asked you to tell us all about the times that money played a part in your relationship breakdowns. From brokefishing friends, greedy partners, and the generational divides between parents and kids, there’s a lot to learn from these slippery situations. Scroll on for eight women’s stories about their worst money-based conflicts.
Dad was understandably very hurt and mad that she did this. But after some time, he tried to sort it out and mend the relationship. Unfortunately, my sister can’t see the error in her ways and wants nothing to do with him. Probably for the best TBH, he’s too amazing to put up with that shit.
We had just moved into a new house with other friends and flooding had done damage to my room (mine was the only room impacted). Due to the repairs, I didn’t have a room for over a month, but luckily I could stay with my partner at the time. My friend and the other roommates continued living there unbothered. I had organised reduced rent with our real estate agent however when my friend found out, she called the agent without my knowledge and organised her own discount (taking it out of mine).
When I confronted her about it, she simply said it wasn’t fair that I was the only one getting reduced rent. I soon moved out completely and she refused to pay out my bond, saying that it was payment to her for my sister staying with us for a week. Once I moved out, I moved on from the friendship, but it broke my bank — and my heart.
Every time I did finally agree to him getting me something, even though I didn’t necessarily need it, he would then kind of hold this over me, saying things like “I give you whatever you want” when we argued or when I brought up any issues in our relationship.
Basically he acted like he can do no wrong because he buys things for me. On the flip side, he also still wanted to split mutual expenses 50/50, which led to me overspending on things like eating out and groceries because he was willing to splash out. I ended things with him and a big part of that was his obsession with money and being so controlling about it.
At some point, we finally decided she wasn’t entitled to our generosity and made a pact to not spend a dime on her. If she said things like ‘I really want to go this concert but have no money!!” we would just ignore it. One night, she showed up to our friends’ party a long way from her place because she thought her crush was going to be there. When we were wrapping up, she cried that she had spent all her money on the 50-minute Uber getting there and had no money to get back home. We asked her how she thought that that was a good idea when there is so much public transport around her and she just said that she thought she could rely on her friends.
I said she could stay at mine which was nearby but she didn’t want to crash with us because she had a date in the morning. She called us selfish for not wanting to chip in for her to get home in a taxi and stormed off. None of us have really spoken to her since!
My parents very generously paid for things like nice meals out, transport, alcohol etc, and she was going to pay them back for things they had booked (for example, flights/accommodation, etc.)
She ended up getting into a massive argument with me over the fact that my parents were taking us on holiday and visiting me while I lived in London, and was jealous that I wanted to also spend time with my parents, who I hadn’t seen in a year.
She then threw a hissy fit and stayed in the room the whole time, not wanting to go out because my parents were there (she blatantly said she didn’t want me to spend time with them and I was like ummm, why did you come on holiday with us then, as you knew it was like a family holiday?) and then tried to get my parents to fly to Dubai when her flight was delayed because she didn’t want to be by herself (obviously after the way she treated them, they didn’t — also her flight was delayed by 4 hours so it was excessive). She never spoke to me once she got back to Australia, never thanked me for taking her on holiday, and of course — never paid my parents back. Needless to say, she isn’t a friend anymore — yikes.
The friendship ended after she acquired a full University scholarship based on artistic themes that I had originally presented but was told by her that I shouldn’t pursue. She was also travelling internationally during covid and couldn’t understand the backlash.
Rich people have been stealing from marginalised people for so long, but I didn’t ever think it would happen between me and a friend. People born into wealth can never understand the burden of intergenerational poverty and sometimes it gets in the way of relationships.
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