We’ve all wondered it at some point. People are confusing creatures and navigating each other’s moods and behaviours leaves us constantly scratching our heads. But relying on our own judgement or that of those close to us doesn’t always give us the hard truths we need to hear. Luckily AITA allows a jury of Internet strangers to rule on our personal choices, giving us some insight, validation or in some cases, hopefully some much-needed self-reflection.
While the stories range from highly nuanced to unbelievably absurd, they’re always a riot to indulge in, and what’s even more entertaining are the thousands of truly wild comments they fetch.
As big fans of the notorious subreddit, we thought we’d round up some of our favourite posts that have stuck with us. Ahead, twelve Am I The Asshole? stories that are sure to leave your jaw on the floor.
“During the reception, I went to the band and asked them to play a song for me to sing to my new wife. It was Te Amare by Miguel Bose. It was the song from our first date in a really bad Mexican restaurant, so it became a long-standing joke between us. The guests really loved the song, my MIL cried and told me it was beautiful, but my bride seemed upset. I asked her what was wrong and she said I am an [asshole] for taking the spotlight to enforce my ethnicity and not just let the band sing our song for us. Aita?”
Read the responses here.
“Because she’s been here for nine days we haven’t had a second of time together. She insists on staying here instead of a hotel. (For the record she lives an hour away.) the guest room is right next to ours and the walls are thin. When the two of us go out she comes with us. Or makes one of us stay with her bc otherwise we would be “bad hosts”. She follows us around the house constantly. We want to cuddle and watch movies she’s sitting in the armchair. We want to go to a romantic restaurant better make that a table for three. We have even left her in the living room to go “chat” in our room and she follows us.
“Earlier today, I just asked her to leave. (Even though both of us have been hinting that she needs to go.) She kept saying she wasn’t ready to go yet and wanted more time with her son. I tried telling her we wanted some alone time and she kept insisting that she join us. Finally, I snapped and said “Since you seem to be oblivious, I will put this bluntly. I want to fuck your son. If you don’t want to see or hear then you need to leave.” (Ik this isn’t the classiest response ever but I was frustrated.) Anyway, she yelled at me but eventually left. We finally got to have our “alone time.” But now she is blowing up both of our phones, saying that I am disgusting and have no respect for her, her son, or myself. She keeps telling my husband that he shouldn’t be with someone so crude and how dare he let me speak to her like that. I’m sure you get the idea. I know that what I said was really inappropriate but AITA?”
“Edit: after reading these comments I will definitely let my husband know he needs to step up. I agree that it should’ve been him who made her leave. I love him to death and want to be accommodating to his fear of making her angry (she’s nasty when she’s angry and will turn his whole family against him). However, he needs to set boundaries.”
Read the responses here.
“Since he wasn’t budging on the issue, I told him I’d like for him to call me “grandma” in bed as a compromise. He didn’t like this option and said it was giving him visuals he would prefer not to have — like ok, join the fucking club. Anyway, the last time he tried to initiate intimacy with me, I started to refer to myself as “grandma” in the 3rd person (do you like when grandma does that?, etc) and he FLEW off the handle. Said I ruined the mood, made him feel gross and I was being ridiculous. I think I proved my point but he thinks I’m being an asshole so, AITA?”
Read the responses here.
My best friend, “Cassie”, whom I’ve been friends with since we were 10 years old is my maid of honour. She is truly one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, and has stuck with me through everything. She’s been the biggest help in planning this whole ordeal, and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
However, I’ve never been the biggest fan of her girlfriend, “Sophie”. I always show her respect and try to include her in things, but she’s a huge introvert, and sometimes it can come off as disrespect in return (Cassie’s own words). But, they always seem to be very happy together, so I hope she warms up to me a little in time. (They’ve only been together for a little over a year and a half).
“Several days ago, Sophie approached me, asking me if I’d be okay if she proposed during my reception. She claimed it would be a great way for Cassie and I to bond more, having our weddings linked and all of that. (Not that we need any more time to bond, she’s already my other half)
I love Cassie to death, but I’d never allow that for anyone. I shut the idea down immediately, and Sophie got all pissy with me and left. She said something along the lines of “I don’t need your permission anyway” and walked out the door. This made me fearful that she’d attempt it anyway, so I went to Cassie.
“Needless to say, Cassie was mad. I never really see her get angry, but she was livid. She apologised profusely and said she couldn’t believe Sophie would ever think of doing something like that, and that was the end of our conversation. However, two days ago I got another call from Sophie, berating me for spoiling her plan to propose, and was informed that Cassie would be attending the wedding by herself, and is currently not speaking to her.
“I was concerned that wasn’t the entire story, so I called Cassie. She was a mess, said she was staying with her parents right now, and disinvited Sophie as her plus one because she was scared Sophie would’ve proposed anyway, given the chance, and she didn’t want to ruin my wedding. I told her to come stay with me for a while instead, and she showed up several hours later, still a complete mess. She said that she and Sophie had a huge fight, and she was reconsidering whether or not she wanted to stay in this relationship. According to Cassie, these huge fights are a common occurrence.
“I feel awful for ruining her proposal, and potentially ruining her relationship. Cassie has been picking herself up in front of me, and continuing to be great with the last-minute to-dos, but I’ve caught her crying while I’m not around. I love her, and I don’t want her to resent me for this. So I need to know AITA? And is there anything I can do to fix this?”
Read the responses here.
“I was hanging with a friend recently and he asked what I make. I was honest. He called me a jerk and said I was condescending to my friends by acting ‘poor’. He was actively angry that I’m ‘faking’ being poor. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to save up so I have a warm place to go to the bathroom when I’m old. I’m going to charge rent to live in my house. It seems wrong to have people live there rent-free. I just way undercharge. I have no desire to get a fancy new car or show off with a nicer house. I do spend money on travel, but that’s rare due to my job needing me. And no one sees how nice I travel. Am I the AH for ‘acting’ poor?”
Read the responses here.
“Over the weekend, she’s invited a friend and her son over knowing that this kid bullies their son so asked can we have him for the weekend, so now he’s planning to bring him away with us. I said I’d rather just us to go away on the weekend as planned but if we can’t find other arrangements for their son I’d rather not go at all so now he thinks I’m being an AH. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, we had a night away booked and last minute she called and dropped their daughter off so we had to bring her with us.
Just so you know we/I spend a lot of time with the kids, they are with us most of the week and take day trips on weekends and a couple of holidays on half terms so it’s not like I refuse to bring them anywhere with us all the time, just when it’s been planned as a couples getaway.”
“Edit: no I don’t hate the kids. Yes I understand he’s a dad first but she’s a mum first. By favour, I meant when she last minute decides to see her boyfriend or go out, not by doing his parent duties as he should. Also, I told him to just take his son away and spend the weekend with him.”
Read the responses here.
“I have a friend “Lynn” who is always asking me to make her stuff. I’ve made her a scarf and hat set and I gifted her a baby blanket for her rainbow baby, all of which have been free. She asks me to make my more complicated stuff for her like cardigans, large amigurumi toys (I am not an amigurumi person), and complex blankets, which I always say no to because as much as I love Lynn she is very demanding and I do this for fun. I enjoyed giving her her gifts, but I don’t like feeling obliged. It takes me a while to finish complex things and I know she wouldn’t be ok waiting more than like a week.
“Recently I posted a patchwork cardigan I made and Lynn texted me asking me to make one for her. I said no because it took me a month to finish and I had other things I wanted to make. She asked if she paid for it if I would make it for her. I told her that based on the cost of materials and an hourly wage for skilled labour it would cost $400.
She said that was ridiculous and there was no way that cardigan would be worth $400. I told her I agree but that’s why I usually don’t take commissions and would rather give away stuff I make. She told me I was being greedy.
“Realistically, if I took a commission for this cardigan I’d charge like $75 (3x cost of materials) and give a two-month timeline, but I wanted to deter her from asking again. AITA for quoting her such a high price?”
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“Every time we hang out she kinda checks out, goes on her phone or wonders off and sort of… dumps her kid on the friend group. Well, on this beach trip (overnight), she did just that to me. Now, remember this is the first time in a long time I’ve been kid-free (of at least my kid-free) and here she is, dumping her kid on me. Her kid is asking me to play with them, walk with them, you know, kid stuff. And I just want a BREAK. But here my friend is, playing on her phone just totally checked out. I try to redirect her kid back to her saying “oh you should ask your mom to play” to which she says without missing a beat “no, you have more patience for (kids name) anyway. You play with him.”
“My blood fucking boiled and I explained to her that I left my kid at home because I wanted to be kid-free for the night and not babysit hers. She rolled her eyes and I just lost it and told her to “stop being lazy and watch your own kid.” Of course, she was pissed but the rest of the group had my back. But my “friend” was so angry I can’t help but feel like I’m in the wrong.”
Read the responses here.
In 2019, I drew the sixty-year-old husband of my great aunt. I knew he and my great aunt were very well off, and really neither wanted nor needed anything. I knew also that the budget we had for gifts of fifty dollars max was not going to get him anything within his or her taste level. Since he did a lot of driving for his work, I found him a rather expensive set of tools to keep in his car trunk should he need them. He opened them during the party, seemed appreciative, and thanked me.
“This past Christmas, I saw my gift was from my great aunt. When I opened it, I immediately recognised the tool set I had given him three years before. Even the tape I had put on part of a torn label was there. I paused, broke into a big smile and excitedly exclaimed that this was incredible as, when I bought her husband a set three years ago, I had wanted to get a set for myself as well, but the store had told me the set was discontinued and no longer available. I gushed that she must have gone to a lot of trouble to find one just like the one I gave him three years ago. (Yes, I mentioned giving him a set three years ago many times.) I then made a big show of running over, hugging her, and saying thank you.
She and he just had odd smiles frozen on their faces.
“See, my great aunt has a reputation whispered behind her back of being incredibly cheap and regifting most of what she receives. All the relatives had just witnessed me make a big production out of this one instance. My mum later took me aside and chastised me for what I did as my great aunt was visibly embarrassed and had left very soon after the gift exchange. I just looked at her and innocently asked what I did that was wrong by thanking her for a gift I really wanted. So, was I out of line?”
Read the responses here.
“Today when she said “morning slim” I replied “morning chunky” and she got upset and actually started crying. Everybody here at work, (only six of us total) is saying I’m wrong and I should apologise because being called fat is “different” than being called skinny because being called skinny is a “compliment”. I said as long as she calls me slim, I will call her chunky and now I’m the bad person. AITA if I don’t apologise? The owner/manager has completely ignored the situation saying it’s “a high school issue and we should figure it out”.
We don’t have HR. There are only six of us working here (cupcake shop). We are all regular employees. I went to the owner BEFORE I called her chunky and I asked him to talk to her because I felt she was harassing me. That’s when he said we can handle it ourselves. That’s why I called her chunky. I told her to stop calling me slim and I didn’t like it and she continued to do it. She didn’t stop doing it after I asked multiple times and I didn’t know what to do besides what she was doing to me. She brought up my weight, I brought up hers.”
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“When he does this I just feel embarrassed and it gives me the vibe that he cares more about materialistic objects than me. I’m not even allowed to cuddle him during my period. He acts like I’m just gushing like a waterfall or something. I started my period yesterday and as I expected — the sheets come out. I decide to put my foot down and I take all of the sheets off the furniture, which got my boyfriend irritated, to which I told him that he needs to stop treating me like a leaking juice box. He’s saying that I have no right to prevent him from keeping his expensive furniture clean and that I’M the one acting like a “jerk.” I need to know, AITA?”
Read the responses here.
“I wanted to start looking for colleges now to be better prepared but turns out I have no money left, I’m literally sobbing while writing this my parents took my entire money and gave it to my sister.
“I raised this issue on Christmas and I’m being blamed for ruining Christmas and not loving my niece or my sister. I told them, ‘yes, I really hate each and every one of them.’ I feel like an asshole for that. My parents have offered 10k in exchange to calm me down but that amount was literally 80k they are now telling me that I’m greedy. Am I really the asshole? Should I take what they are offering me right now because, according to them, this is what they have got?”
Read the responses here.
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