This week: “I’m a 34-year-old academic researcher working in health research, living in the northwest. I’ve lived here all of my life, minus three years of uni down south. My husband, T, and I are trying to conceive (TTC) and it’s tricky due to me having PCOS. We bought our house just before lockdown and have been saving up to make it into our forever family home. This is taking a bit longer than planned due to some financial issues. I was in debt but am about to clear it. With regards to money, I’m a spender, particularly when I’m feeling low. That’s what got me in trouble in the first place! I’m trying to get on top of this and have a healthy balance between being sensible and not being so miserable that I get fed up and splurge.”
Occupation: Academic researcher
Industry: Research
Age: 34
Location: Northwest England
Salary: £42,000
Paycheque amount: £2,321
Number of housemates: One: my husband, T. Plus a cat, also T.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £238 for my half of our mortgage, plus £50 per month overpayment.
Loan payments: My car is on finance at £165 per month. We bought our white goods on finance, which is £14.32 per month for my half. My student loan also comes out of my salary, around £133 per month. During 2020-2021 I racked up nearly £6,000 of credit card debt through a mixture of being irresponsible with money, a period of depression and a bit too much lifestyle creep. I kept this secret from everyone, including T, and just tried to ignore it or hope I’d figure it out. I owned up to T last Christmas and he was shocked. He’s always been careful with money (he works in finance) and he was hurt I’d kept this from him but together we worked out a plan for me to switch to an interest-free card and pay the debt off in time for us to hopefully have a baby. While I did this, T took over building up our savings for the house renovation. After an incredibly frugal 11 months of selling things online, downscaling my bad habits (hello, Wilko makeup instead of Estée Lauder) and carefully budgeting for big expenses or events, I’m about to make the final payment on the credit card. I still paid my half of all our bills and I fully appreciate how privileged I am that I was able to do this.
Savings? Joint £10,000 for house renovations that’s in a lock-away savings account. T has an emergency fund of a similar amount and I’ll be building up one for me too when I’ve paid off my debt.
Pension? I pay about 9% and my employer pays about 12%. This works out at about £300 per month.
Utilities: My half of our monthly bills breaks down as £66 council tax, £16.40 broadband, £6.84 TV licence, £23.54 water, £73.34 gas and electricity.
All other monthly payments: £25 phone contract, £38.79 life and illness insurances, £7.12 boiler cover and servicing, £8.55 home and contents insurance. Subscriptions: £8 Netflix, £25.66 union fees, £11 NHS prescription pre-pay, £32 gym membership, £40 parking permit, £60 cleaners (starting this month). We pay a number of monthly charity direct debits from our joint account, my half breaks down as £25 Trussell Trust, £25 Macmillan Cancer Support, £10 Mind and £2.50 to a local animal shelter.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I had the maximum student loan/grant for my bachelor’s and worked weekends and holidays in a shop. For my master’s, I took out a career development loan from a bank, had £3,000 compensation from a car accident set aside, and worked weekends and holidays in our student union pub. I received a stipend from my university for my PhD. I was the first in my family to go to university.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
I was always aware that we didn’t have much money but my parents didn’t talk specific numbers with us until I was a teenager. I remember lots of cold winters because they couldn’t afford to put the heating on and being in third or fourth generation hand-me-down clothes from my cousins. We never went hungry but I knew we didn’t have enough money even though both of my parents worked. I found out when I was older that my parents had lots of debts from lack of budgeting (Mum’s words), job losses and my dad running up lots of debts without telling my mum. When they separated, she got a new job and made it work with three kids on a single salary. There was always a kind of acceptance that you could fall back on credit cards, which I think contributed to my mistakes with money.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents’/guardians’ house?
When I went to university at 18.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
When I went to university at 18. Mum would send me back after the holidays with a food shop when she could but other than that I paid my own way.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I started cleaning in a local office complex at 14 for £3 per hour. I wanted my own money and Mum said she couldn’t afford to give us pocket money anymore.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes, constantly. I’m very lucky with my salary – it’s the most money anyone in my family has ever earned – but research jobs are rarely permanent so I’m constantly looking for the next contract or a permanent job. The debt I got myself into isn’t the first one but it’s the biggest. I’ve been pulling myself in and out of credit card debt most of my adult life so money is always on my mind. I’m determined that this is the last time though and I have overhauled my whole mindset and learned to budget.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
My dad left when I was a teenager and was estranged until he died in my early 20s. In my mid 20s we found out he’d had a pension, which I inherited with my sisters. I inherited £20,000, which went towards paying off my loan for my master’s and later our house deposit and wedding (northwest house prices – this covered a lot!).
7am: Wake up to husband T’s alarm, which also alerts the cat that it’s morning. Scroll through my phone with cat T on my lap while husband showers. I’m using up annual leave before year end today so it’s a nice, slow start.
7.30am: Get up, showered, dressed and do a quick runaround tidy-up before the cleaners arrive. I have an old neck injury from a car accident that makes housework (and most physical things) tricky when it flares up, plus I got fed up with cleaning arguments with T about how I was doing most of it. Getting help was his solution. We’ve only just started this month and I’ve got to say it makes life (and our marriage) so much easier now I’m not constantly reminding him it’s been his turn to clean the bathroom for a month.
10.30am: T’s friend and her wife have just moved half an hour away. I’m meeting her wife, S, for coffee today as she doesn’t know anyone in the area so I set off via the petrol station. I spend £20.04 on petrol and £3 on parking.
11am: She kindly insists on paying for brunch so I buy a round of coffees. It’s nice to get to know her! £6.70
12.30pm: I decide to do some shopping and have a walk around the shops. End up picking up a Body Shop set that my mum asked for and some stocking fillers for her and T, £25. This comes out of my Xmas shopping budget, which I’ve been putting aside all year.
3.15pm: Home and T has finished work early as it’s his office Xmas party tonight. Partners are invited too and because it’s in Manchester we decided to stay over and booked a hotel. We pack our overnight bags and hit the road. T drives. Our neighbour will pop in to feed cat T for us.
5.45pm: Check in to the hotel, get ready for the party and head out to meet T’s office mates at a bar.
7pm: Party time! The office has booked one of those corporate party nights with lots of other companies having parties at the same time. There’s lots of free drinks flowing and I chat to T’s workmates and their partners. I also do some dreadful dancing with T’s ‘work mum’ and drink a lot of free wine. There’s so much free drink I only end up buying one round for me, T and his colleague, £16.20.
12am: I’ve hit that point where I don’t want any more to drink. T stopped drinking a little while ago because he’s driving us home tomorrow so we walk back to the hotel and head to bed.
Total: £70.94
6.05am: Too early. Nope.
8.20am: I’m awake now and don’t feel like my best self.
9.55am: A shower and a hotel breakfast helps.
11am: Check out of the hotel. We bump into some of T’s colleagues who also stayed over here and they suggest going for lunch in town later. T looks tempted but I’m starting to feel rough again so mentally beg him to say no. Psychic powers work and he says we’ll skip it. Phew.
12.30pm: We get home and I’m really feeling the wine so I decide to go for a nap while T does whatever he does on the Xbox.
5pm: Oh gosh, I slept all day but I feel so much better. I have another shower and put on some fresh PJs. Cat demands cuddles on the sofa, which I’m very happy to provide. I’ve not been drinking while we’re TTC so last night was a bit of a shock to the system.
7pm: Realise my period has arrived. I knew it would as I took a pregnancy test the day before the party and it was negative (I wanted to avoid questions about not drinking so decided I would have a drink if I wasn’t pregnant). I knew this was coming from the negative test but it still stings a bit. There’s always next month…
7.15pm: I’m a bit sad and hungry, and we haven’t done a food shop, so T decides to go out and get fish and chips for our dinner. The last bits of my hangover love this idea.
7.45pm: T comes back with a frozen pizza, Diet Coke and grapes. Apparently, the queue was too big at the fish and chip shop and he couldn’t be bothered to wait. I’m gutted. This is surely grounds for divorce. £4 for my half, which I transfer to the joint account. Eat some of the pizza and grapes while watching TV with T.
1am: Bed.
Total: £4
9am: Wake up and make us cups of tea to have in bed. Get ready slowly and have some toast.
11am: T is working from the Bristol office for a few days so is leaving today. I drive him into Manchester to meet his colleague who is driving them to Bristol and wave him off.
11.30am: Call my mum and invite myself over for the afternoon as she’s only about an hour away. I stop off at Tesco on the way and pick up cat food, milk, bananas, a sandwich and mince pies, £10.44. I also get more petrol, £15.01.
12.30pm: Spend the afternoon pottering about the house with Mum, eating mince pies, taking the dogs for a walk and catching up.
5pm: Head home.
7pm: Period is in full swing now and I’m feeling a bit lonely so I call my best friend K for a catch-up, then throw myself a pity party and get my fish and chips from yesterday, £5.75.
8pm: Have a long bath with candles and a nice bath bomb.
11pm: Bed, with a clingy cat snuggled up next to me.
Total: £31.20
6.15am: I’m working from the office today so I’m up early to drive in (I try not to drive every time I’m in the office but trains and buses take twice as long as driving and I’ve got a busy day and want to be in early).
6.50am: I planned to have breakfast at home seeing as I’m up so early but I still haven’t done a proper food shop so that isn’t happening. Feed cat and set off for work.
8am: Get to work and I am starving. I nip to the café around the corner and get a sausage bap, £3.85.
8.15am: At my desk and log on with my bap and a cup of decaff tea from the staff kitchen.
9.30am: Office mate arrives and we have a catch-up over more tea before I settle down for more emails and meetings.
12.30pm: I’m on a training course this afternoon that includes lunch! My favourite type of course. Make the most of it and have a tuna sandwich, salad and an apple. Resist the biscuits.
3pm: I cave and have the biscuits at the coffee break.
5.30pm: The course session finishes and I head home.
6.45pm: Stop at Lidl on the way home and do a vaguely proper food shop to see myself through the few days while T is away. I pick up salad, apples, avocado, mushrooms, carrots, potatoes, onions, chicken breasts, veggie mince, tomatoes, yoghurts, stock cubes, biscuits, hand soap, washing up liquid, toothpaste, toilet paper, eggs, bread and some chocolate Santas for our nieces,£27.87 from the joint account.
7.45pm: Get home and straight into my PJs and make myself a batch of veggie bolognese with leftovers for tomorrow and the freezer. Do a bit of a tidy-up around the house.
8.30pm: T calls for a catch-up and we realise the date. I’ve been paid! This is exciting as this is the final month of paying off my credit card. I log on while T is on the phone and make the final payment of £489.11. I actually cry with relief on the phone to T. It’s done! I’m finally debt-free! I was hoping for a zero balance right away but it will take a few days to clear. I make a joke about booking a holiday to celebrate and I can almost see T’s eye-roll down the phone. It was a joke!
11pm: Fall asleep in bed with my book like the wannabe grandma that I am – but this grandma is now debt-free!
Total: £520.83
7am: Practically a lie-in today as I’m working from home. I scroll on my phone for a bit, get up, showered and throw the chicken, potatoes, carrots, onions and stock that I bought yesterday into the slow cooker to make a casserole.
9am: Start getting hungry and make some scrambled eggs with mushrooms and onions and a cup of tea for breakfast.
9.30am: I’m developing a plan from a research project with some colleagues so I spend the morning working on my section of that and the budget needed to pull it off.
1.30pm: Our neighbour texts and asks if I could let their dog out as they’re held up at work. Of course! I nip over to their house and have the best cuddles with their golden retriever.
2pm: Back home from my impromptu puppy date. I heat up some leftover bolognese and eat at my desk and get back to work.
7.15pm: I’ve been looking at screens of numbers so long, my eyes are fuzzy, so I’m calling it a day. Mentally thank this-morning me for the slow cooker dinner. I call T while I’m eating and we catch up.
9pm: Do a quick HIIT workout on my gym’s app, shower and head to bed with a clingy cat (he’s always like this when one of us is away).
11pm: Still scrolling on my phone but try to force myself to sleep.
Total: £0
7am: Alarm goes off. Get up, feed cat, then take a cup of tea and toast back to bed. I’m using up annual leave again today (use it or lose it) but I’ve woken up feeling stressed about how much is left to do on our research grant application so I’m logging on to my laptop and at my desk in my PJs by 8.30am.
9am: Urgent email comes in from our research funders asking for an update. Glad I logged in.
9.30am: My manager messages me on Teams to ask why I’m online. I tell him that I don’t feel like I have enough time to take leave when there’s so much to do. He tells me he understands and we need to review my workload (I’ve been asking for this for weeks), and to log the time to claim back.
1pm: That’s enough for today. I log off, get dressed, have a quick lunch of a tuna salad and walk into town to do some more Christmas shopping.
2pm: I buy my aunt a vase from an independent shop, £14. I also get a jumper for T that he’s had his eye on from Next, £32. These will come from my Christmas shopping pot.
4pm: Head to the gym for a workout.
6pm: T is home! We have leftover casserole for dinner, watch a couple of episodes of The Watcher on Netflix (so weird) and catch up before heading to bed about 11ish.
Total: £46
7am: Alarm goes off and I force T to stay and snuggle with me for a bit because I missed him. The cat joins us, because of course he does.
8.30am: Usual up, dressed, shower, feed cat routine and I’m at my desk for 8.30am with a cup of tea and some porridge with bananas. T and I are both working from home today, which is nice.
12.30pm: T makes us lunch of beans on toast, then I run out to the little Tesco to grab veggie burgers, baps and some wine as our friends are coming round for dinner tonight. £6.10 for my half on the joint.
6pm: Finish work after a long day of meetings and number crunching. I quickly make up the spare room for our friend from London who is coming to stay this weekend. We also have friends coming for dinner tonight. I’m finished just in time for them to arrive at 7pm.
7pm: T and I make veggie burgers, homemade chips and roasted veggies for dinner for us all. I skip the wine and nobody seems to notice. It’s a lovely evening of catch-ups, games and food, except for the point when the cat comes in with a dead bird. Lovely.
11.30pm: Our friends head off in a taxi and we decide that cleaning up is tomorrow’s problem. We have some time between work and our friend arriving from London so we head up to bed.
Total: £6.10
Food & Drink: £80.91
Entertainment: £0
Clothes & Beauty: £0
Home & Health: £0
Travel: £38.05
Other: £560.11
Total: £679.07
Conclusion
“It’s been really helpful to keep track this week and I’m proud of how far I’ve come as there aren’t really any unplanned splurges here. I try to have at least one zero-spend day a week and I’m glad I managed it. It’s been a pretty normal week, save the credit card payment and present shopping. I’ve realised that when T and I get out of the habit of food shopping and meal prepping, the little food spends creep in, but they’re not as bad as they could be this week. Now the credit card is paid off I’ll be putting virtually all of my money after our budgeting expenses to our savings for house and baby.”
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